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Subscribe and get breaking news, commentary, and opinions on law firms, lawyers, law schools, lawsuits, judges, and more. The stimulating hem hem opinion comes why does everything suddenly sound so dirty? I should not write this story, because I know it will only encourage more BikeDude commenter jokes, but here goes….

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My first job out of college was a "pleasure specialist," which sounds way worse than it is. I sold sex toys. There was nothing quite like the shocked faces of relatives when I told them how I was spending my post-grad time. But while there are a lot of misconceptions around adult stores, the days of the "sleazy porn store" are numbered.

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Outside, the prairie lies dark and still. In the windowless gray building by the Interstate 70 offramp, a clerk with a tired face rings up sex toys. Two women in prim business suits gawk at a shelf of raunchy gag gifts, giggling.

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The title AdultFriendFinder has wholesome energy on its face, but beyond that seemingly-innocent link lies a site that makes millennial hookup apps look PG. Moving to a new city or working at a new job where you don't know anybody can seriously be depressing, especially if you're already introverted as it is. What are you supposed to do?

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Working as a porn clerk for four years was a brilliant, outlandish adventure better than any Chuck Palahniuk novel. I watched sweet grannies try on sexy maid outfits in the dressing room; and newlywed couples traipse dreamily through the aisles in their wedding garb while selecting items for their honeymoon. I accepted countless soggy, butt-pocket dollars from truckers; made friends with porn stars, prostitutes, and the occasional police officer; and heard the sounds of a suburban dad getting serviced in the back room.

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We go on a spree through offline adult entertainment hubs to find out how they get by. The main difference between a regular movie theater and an adult movie theater is how nervous you are about the sticky floor. There was a time when adult film theaters were plentiful. Popcorn and soda, a ticket for the wife, plus you have to hire a sitter… Oy!

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